Halloween 1981. Maybe I should’ve gone for a Michael Myers mask…
Dressing up is one of the best things about Halloween. You can choose to be anyone or anything you want to be, limited only by your imagination. When I was little, my costumes were primarily plastic and not very creative. But in the 1980s, it was the height of chic to have a store-bought costume with a creepy plastic mask you could barely breathe in.
When I got a little older, I tried to be more imaginative. In 5th or 6th grade, I decided to go as a soda can. I painstakingly taped a piece of silver poster board together in a cylindrical shape and somehow attached it to my body. I don’t remember the specifics, but it was a massive fail. Meanwhile, my neighbor, Mary, stole my idea to be a soda can; she, however, executed it perfectly with the use of a sturdy cardboard cylinder and cut-outs for her head and arms. The following year, understanding my limitations, I went back to the store and bought my costume: a plastic shower, with a plastic shower curtain and a plastic tub that went around my waist. You’ll notice I have no pictures to post of myself in these costumes. (Mom, if you’re reading this, that is NOT a request for you to go photo diving and post any on Facebook!)
When I had a child, I was determined to make her super creative costumes. But then I had another child. And another. And yet another…you get the picture. Time isn’t on your side once you start having multiple children. I also realized that not knowing how to sew properly is kind of a hindrance. So my homemade costume attempts are few (a princess dress, a few capes, a warlock cloak, and my proudest achievement–Major Tom). Also, my kids like trendy themes. It was easier and cheaper to just buy a $10 Spiderman costume for the 4-year-old, the same one who was happy to go as a homemade cowboy ghost last year. C’est la vie.
Now there’s absolutely nothing wrong with buying your Halloween costumes. And they have dramatically improved since the days of plastic Strawberry Shortcake–mostly. However, if you choose to buy your costumes, you will undoubtedly run into the “sleaze” problem. Jill over at Scary Mommy highlighted some of the “sexy” costumes to be found in the kids/tween section of some costume stores. Sexy costumes for kids, indeed! But by far the worst costume for a child I think I have ever seen is sold by Spirit Halloween: Phat Pimp Child Costume.
I thought my cheap soda can attempt was bad. This one takes the prize for Worst Halloween Costume Ever, though some of these costumes for tweens come pretty close. If this is the future of store-bought costumes, give me back the old plastic ones–even with the suffocation hazard!
A Common Sea 
The worst was probably someone dressed as a ghost with just a plain white bedsheet over them.
mami2jcn at gmail dot com
Posted by Mary Happymommy (@mami2jcn) | October 24, 2012, 14:53Jeez, they couldn’t even do a Charlie Brown-style ghost, with the eye holes cut all over the place? LOL
~Lynn
Posted by A Common Sea | October 24, 2012, 15:52Bloody tampon costume was the worst I’ve ever seen
Posted by tcarolinep | October 24, 2012, 15:44Ew, yeah… anything having to do with feminine hygiene products is a fail.
~Lynn
Posted by A Common Sea | October 24, 2012, 15:53well, semi “smart” if you will, but regular clothes with an empty pizza box = pizza delivery guy. Lol.
Posted by Janice | October 24, 2012, 22:42Clever! I may use that on my list of last-minute Halloween costumes. LOL
~Lynn
Posted by A Common Sea | October 25, 2012, 14:25It’s not really a costume, but one of my co-workers said he was the Visible Man.
Posted by Wen | October 24, 2012, 23:50Was he in neon? LOL He should’ve said he was the INvisible Man and then walk around doing things as if no one could see him. 😀
~Lynn
Posted by A Common Sea | October 25, 2012, 14:26I will cut my old dress to be beggar and carry a bag with big hole.
I dress up my hair that is very mess.
Posted by happygrape2 | October 27, 2012, 00:22Easy to pull together!
~Lynn
Posted by A Common Sea | October 27, 2012, 13:43I saw a ridiculous costume that was making viral a couple days ago. A guy standing there and had a toy that looked like a little boy attached to him that came up to his waist. You could see what he was trying to do. And it was disgusting
Posted by Eve | October 31, 2012, 01:43O.M.G.! I think I’d have tried to make myself vomit on him. Yuck.
~Lynn
Posted by A Common Sea | November 5, 2012, 12:44Aside from all the wonderful treats, you have probably my favorite part of the season; monsters, costumes, and make-up. I remember one of my store bought costumes. It was a little devil costume complete with a thin little plastic mask and the non-fire-retardant suit. I also remember years of homemade costumes and really bad make-ups, but that didn’t matter because it was Halloween. I think that’s one of the reasons why it has always been my favorite holiday. Halloween is that one day out of the year when you get to totally change yourself and be somebody or something else. I always enjoyed that aspect more than the scare for personal reasons. As long as I can remember I have always had a problem with stuttering, but for some reason when I would put on a mask it would go away. When I started working at Netherworld Haunted House, we would always do “live” shows for different T.V. stations. Now, if you’ve ever had a speech impediment you can understand how terrifying that can be. But over the years it got easier, and it rarely happens now. That’s a good thing too, because otherwise I never could or would have done Face Off.
Posted by carnosine eye drops | November 1, 2012, 19:04