M is for Maintaining Marital Intimacy

We all know the cliché about how your sex life dies a slow, lingering death after marriage. But with a little effort, creativity, and willingness, you can ensure that the old cliché remains just a cliché.

Today, the norm is that both spouses have full-time jobs (and in this economy, perhaps more than one). Add in children, church or military service, and extended family obligations, and romance may seem like just one more thing on the to-do list.

Here are a few creative ways to maintain that intimacy you had when you were still newlyweds. Some take a little more time and effort than others, but your spouse and your marriage are worth going the extra mile for, aren’t they?

• Change your sex routine. Set the alarm for thirty minutes earlier and jump your mate before work. Have an “nooner” while the baby naps. Buy a copy of The Pocket Kama Sutra and try something new. Instead of the bed, use the kitchen floor (unless it’s a very cold, hard Mexican tile). The point is to shake things up and break out of the rut.
• Plan a date. And really plan the date. Don’t just suggest that you go out somewhere. Decide what you’re going to do, where you’re going to go and when, and if necessary, hire the babysitter. Make sure it’s something your spouse will enjoy. It’s nice to be swept off your feet at the end of a long week.
• Arrange fun for your spouse–without you. We all need to recharge our batteries. So schedule a spa day or buy concert tickets for your spouse and his best friend. Feeling refreshed can open a person up to feeling more romantic and connected with their mates afterward.
• Mail a handwritten love note. If you can send it to your spouse’s work, great. But mailing one to your home is also as effective. It’s a great pick-me-up amidst the bills and junk mail in the box. Not sure what to say? Check out “How to Write the Perfect Love Letter in 3 Short Paragraphs“, “How to Write a Love Letter“, and “8 Tips for Writing a Love Letter to Your Spouse“.
• Wear something that makes you feel good. You’ll feel sexy and confident, and that will drive your loved one wild.
• Kiss, kiss, kiss. Take time to kiss your spouse everyday. The peck on the cheek before you fall asleep at night is okay, but you should consider taking it to the next level. A deep, probing kiss (especially out of the blue) can do much to awaken even the most tired of libidos.
• Have more sex. Let’s face it, you’re not always in the mood for a long lovemaking session. But having sex more often doesn’t have to equate to the whole drawn-out ritual of foreplay and mutual orgasm. Oral sex, contrary to some belief, is still sex. And while some women may disagree, you really don’t have to have an orgasm every single time. Sometimes just the act of lovemaking can bring a sense of fulfillment and release. A quickie can do much to keep the fires burning when there may not be enough time for something more sensual. Just feeling your spouse’s arms around you afterwards creates an intimate bond that will stay with you even after the passionate moment has passed.

What are some of the ways you keep your romance alive?